The big day!

On May 3rd, after a long year of waiting, we made the 40 minutes drive to our interview for my green card. Comfortingly enough we had visited the building the interviews were held in, a week before when we went for a meeting with an immigration officer to get some information on our case.

When we walked into the building and through the line to the security check where my purse was scanned and we had to walk through metal detectors; the security officers recognized us from the week before! We told them it was the big day and they wished us luck. I asked an officer where we needed to go for our interview and we were instructed to go upstairs and wait.

We made our way up the stairs to a large room filled with back to back chairs with people from every corner of the world sitting in them. Handing our interview notice to the lady at the desk we took a seat. By this point my heart was pounding. This was it, we were finally here! After a year of waiting we were here doing this for real! We sat for a long time before our interview time neared. As the clock hit 10 0’clock I turned off my phone and waited patiently. Our interview was scheduled for 10.15am and this time quickly came and went and we remained seated. This gave me time to watch how it all worked!

There were about four doors surrounding the seating area where the immigration officers would come out, go to the desk and call the person next in line. I watched intently, seeing how to officers interacted with people. I turned to Adam and said “She looks nice I hope we get her!” Many of the officers did not greet people as they took them through the doors, while others shook hands with a smile and chatted with the nervous people being interviewed.

There was a vast range of people in the USCIS building and looking around it made me wonder what they were all there for! Opposite us sat a couple going through photos while I assume the mans wife, was telling him where the picture was taken who was in it and when. Their names were later called by two separate officers and they went to two separate rooms so I can only assume that they were there that day for a stokes interview. (An immigration interview where spouses are separated due to suspicion of visa fraud) But who knows I could be totally wrong!

Around about 11 o’clock our names were called. Clutching my folder close to my chest, I stood and greeted a very smiley immigration officer who shook our hands and introduced himself very politely! We followed him to a door at the end of the room; everyone watching us, wondering what would await us behind those doors! Through the door we walked down a long hallway of glass window offices, able to see some people being interviewed. When we reached our assigned office, we sat and were asked to stand to take the oath. As we sat again, the immigration officer told us this wouldn’t take long and he would get out of our hair as soon as possible (I thought if anything we would be getting out of HIS hair!). He made a joke that this wasn’t an interrogation and he wasn’t going to shine a light in our faces and shut us in a dark room. This made me totally relax! I had read horror stories online that said do not under any circumstances joke with the immigration officer. So hearing him make jokes with us totally set me at ease!

He started by explaining that he would ask us both separately some questions. He started with Adam, asking his name, date of birth and address. Then came what he called the “Million dollar question”, What is your wedding anniversary. “March 23rd” Easy! I thought. He then asked what year, which to my surprise Adam responded after some hesitation…2013. I looked at him and said jokingly, “No! 2015! We met in 2013 so you’re half right” The immigration officer joked about how he was trying to whisper the year to Adam and he didn’t want to get him in trouble with me! How funny!

Moving on, it was my time for the questions. Again I was asked my name, date of birth and address. He also asked me what my status was when I entered the United States and what date I entered, along with at which airport I landed and was inspected by an immigration officer. Then came the part that nearly had me giggling! When you fill in the I-485 Adjustment of Status form, there is a section that asks a bunch of questions along the lines of; Do you plan to overthrow the government? Have you ever been a prostitute? Have you ever been arrested? Have you ever been a member of any terrorist group? Both the immigration officer and I clearly knew none of this was true. I am a 20 year old girl from the English Countryside, I have not lived a very exciting life! Obviously my answers to all of these were no; he just needed to clarify that my answers on my I-485 matched my answers on the interview day. He asked if we had any evidence that we wanted to submit, to which we handed over the lease to our apartment with both of our names on. He said “Oh this is good.” He took a photocopy and handed it back to us.

He explained that everything was good and there were no issues and that he would make a decision that day. Following that, I would receive an approval letter and my green card in the mail about 3 weeks after this. He never explicitly said that we were approved but given that he explained the approval process, we did not expect to be denied. He asked if we had any questions and we did not, so we shook his hand and he walked us back down the hallway and to the door where we shook hands again.

And that was it! We actually sat longer in the lobby waiting than we did getting interviewed! It was a super easy process and no way near as daunting as I had dreaded it would be.

Our interview was Tuesday May 3rd and I received my approval letter on Saturday May 7th! I danced around the kitchen in excitement! I was ecstatic! They say that the green card should arrive 3 weeks after the approval notice and so far we are at 2 weeks. One more week to go. If we do not receive my green card by next week then I will call and ask where it is! I am so excited for this process to be over! Next is applying for a social security and a drivers license! I am so excited to get a bank account! My UK debit card is not always accepted over here so I have trouble spending money unless it is in cash! It’s the little things right!

82 long days

After our last snippet of information was received from USCIS on June 25th, we have heard nothing positive. We received a letter to say we didn’t file the medical records so we must take that to the interview when we receive a date…well that would be all good and well if we would be receiving our interview date any time soon! It’s been 82 days exactly since USCIS received our latest request for evidence. Yes, I counted. After 60 days of hearing nothing you are allowed to call and ask questions. After 82 days I am growing increasingly frustrated. I have called two or three times in the last couple of weeks and after calling today, I was told “You are still within the normal processing times for this type of case so you must wait now to receive an interview date” Oh how nice it must be to spew out this information to frustrated petitioners at home while you have a job and an income!

It’s becoming incredibly boring checking the mail everyday and staring into an empty box. I feel like I cannot look forward to anything anymore. Family members birthdays, Christmas. I have no money to contribute to anything. Yes of course Adam provides for our family but I want to contribute too! I want to be able to go out and see something desirable for our home and buy it there on the spot because I am working and I have the money to do so! Instead I am just able to dream about the day that I can do that and leave the item on the shelf.

Adam frequently reminds me that this is a journey we embarked on together and one we will face together. As frustrating as it is to sit at home with no money and no car, it warms my heart when he says that because I know he will truly always be by my side. And he is right, this is a journey we decided to start together and we knew what we were getting ourselves into when we filed that paperwork a long five months ago.

My frustrations come from the waiting; the unknown. Will I be able to work by Christmas or will I be waiting until next March? Another one of my unanswered questions that I must wait a possible further 82 days to find a resolution to.

What they don’t tell you

When the prospect of moving to the United States comes about, it seems like such an exciting venture. A lifetime with the person that you’re so crazily in love with; a new life together. You hear all the stories about how people went through the immigration process and it was such an exciting time for them. Well here’s what the love stories don’t tell you.

Immigration proceedings are no fun. They are a lot of money, a lot of time and a hell of a lot of waiting. It’s going through weeks of stress to get together all the relevant paperwork only to send it in and be told that you’re missing documents. It’s checking the mail every day waiting for a letter only to be disappointed once again when it’s empty. Staring into an empty mail box is like staring into the emptiness of your future.

The excitement of getting to be with your husband or wife is such a magical feeling; yet that’s all you seem to hear. You don’t hear the struggles of the spouse that sits at home all day and has to rely on people because their paperwork hasn’t been completed yet. Months of waiting means a crumbling of independence. For those that don’t have a drivers license, it means relying solely on your spouse to drive you around. Or if you’re lucky enough to have family members here too, it’s them having to drive you around as well. There’s the stress of not knowing anyone outside of your family and your spouses friends; the longing for the friendships you had in your home country and the heartbreak that you can’t just pop round for a cup of tea with your best friends back home.

I’m at the point as you may be able to tell, of frustration. I feel like a burden to those around me. I have had to latch on to family to do things for me that I can’t; driving, paying for things. My independence is gone. Yes I’m living with my husband in a new country and it’s oh so exciting. But am I able to contribute and do things without having to ask anyone to help me? No. And God damn I hate it. I want so badly just to drive to Walmart and pick up groceries with my OWN money that I went out and earned for myself. I want a proper life.

I knew this journey would be tough and it would entail a lot of sitting at home and relying on my husband. He does a bloody good job of supporting our little family all my himself, I just long to take that pressure off of him. I’ve been here for six months now and we are four or so months into our immigration proceedings, which seem to be at a standstill. I think that’s where my frustration is coming from at this moment. The last letter that we received was to tell us that I would need to take my medical papers to my interview, which I would receive the date for soon. And that was about a month ago. Since we sent in our very first set of paperwork, everything moved pretty fast and we heard something new every couple of weeks; however now we are left in the dark waiting for an interview date. I feel hopeless and just like a burden because I am unable to do anything other than sit at home and have people run around like blue arsed flies for me when I have things I need to do.

I am grateful for our journey and I try every day to find patience in it; some days I do this better than others. But for right now, I have hit a mental wall. This is not a post to scare anyone. When I started my blog, I decided to be honest with what was happening along our journey so that I could help others also walking the same path. It will be a rewarding experience for sure, but for now it is a very tough one. However, it is not a journey that I am willing to struggle through. We will all have our tough days, but it is waking up the next day and deciding to change our mind set and have a better day.

Back in processing!

As of yesterday, our case is back in processing! It was an anxious two or three weeks for me. Our package was delivered to the National Benefits Center within two days and then…nothing. We didn’t hear a peep; I started to question whether our package had been received by the office or not! But yesterday, in the most patriotic way, as we pulled into the driveway of my aunts house after seeing fireworks for 4th July, I saw that I had a text. Lone behold, it was from USCIS saying that we had an update on our case! I logged into our account online and saw our update! “On June 25th, we received your response to our Request for Evidence”  Finally!! “Our National Benefits Center office will begin working on your case again. We will mail you a decision or notify you if we need something from you.” Boom. There it was.

I kind of feel like now is crunch time. The word “decision” seems so definitive. In reality, I know I still need to have my medical and my interview so it is not as if we will are at the end of the road just yet! It’s exciting to know that we are back in processing but I am nervous that we could be receiving a decision soon! Of course I am having thoughts that “What if they reject our application?” But we have followed all the correct instructions and sent the correct information so there truly is no reason for them to deny our application. If anything, they could accept this and deny us at the interview! However I know I am just thinking outside of the box and I need to stay positive!

Who knows how long it could before we receive a letter or a notice that they need something else from us. Now I go back to checking the mail every single day and dreaming constantly of anything to do with immigration! At this point I am continuing to stay positive and am trying to remember that we are on a long journey and to stay patient with it and with ourselves.

Sorry isn’t the hardest word, goodbye is.

As I sat these evening looking through photos of last summer spent here in Texas with Adam and my family, I was flooded with happiness and I remembered all the fun things that we did together. But as I got further through my pictures, I started to remember the ending of my trip; the saying goodbye. I had to stop looking because it hurts to remember those feelings. I had the most memorable three months last year; we got engaged along with planning and cancelling a wedding. But one thing sticks in my mind; having to leave.

The first year was definitely the hardest; I didn’t know what to expect. We began a whirlwind romance and I didn’t know where we were headed. Hell we weren’t even “boyfriend and girlfriend” exclusively yet. We both knew we loved each other but agreed it was way to soon to say that. So getting on a plane a short few weeks after only meeting and falling head over heels in love was incredibly overwhelming.

At the airport it was kind of that awkward, “when do we start the goodbye?” I for one am firm on sticking to schedule so I didn’t want to miss my check in time or be late for my flight. But my heart was being torn away from what it desired so badly and it was something that I had never experienced before nor did I know how to deal with it. I cannot even begin to describe the pain of walking away from the one person that makes you the happiest person on earth; the person that makes you feel so safe and carefree. I wasn’t sure what to do once I got on the plane. I wanted to hide my sadness; or rather I wanted to be alone with my sadness. I cried the whole eight hour flight home; barely ate a thing and just waited for it to be over so that I could speak to Adam again and feel complete.

Adjusting to life back at home was hard, I was back in sixth form and working my butt off to pay for the next trip out to Texas. But Adam spending two weeks with my family over Christmas broke up the nine months that we were faced with spending apart. In this time he gave me a promise ring and I knew for sure that he was serious about us and that we would spend our lives together. But again, the time came for us to be separated once more and honestly, having to watch him walk away from me was one of the hardest things I ever had to do in my life. It’s one thing to be the one walking away, but it’s another to be walked away from. It’s like watching the light in your life slowly go out. Returning home and every little thing reminding me of him was tough. My family helped in getting me back to normal but nothing could take away the pain of having our tie severed.

The next six months went by so painfully slowly. I counted the hundreds of days until we would be back together; and this time, a surprise for Adam. My Aunt and Uncle picked me up from the airport and I surprised him four days earlier than planned. (How I pulled it off still to this day amazes me. I got so excited about a fake day!) But then after the most incredible three months, after getting engaged, I had to leave again; this time with the plans of marrying in December. After much planning and saving, along with enough heartache to go around both our entire families, we called off the wedding. Flights were too expensive for Adam to make it to England and I wasn’t going to have him sacrifice a roof above his head for a wedding that could wait. (Perhaps I shall blog separately about this one day and explain the heartache)

For me, September 2014 to January 2015 were our hardest times apart. We were newly engaged and had both planned and cancelled a wedding by November. For many, our relationship was taking a turn for the worst; but for us, we knew that people would make that assumptions, that we “wouldn’t work out” or it “wasn’t a good idea” or “oh they’re on the rocks” But NO. Two fingers up to those people because we fought through our troubles. A few months and a couple of bumps in the road were nothing for us. We knew the bright future that we were about to be facing and we were ready to get there. I wont lie, we had our incredibly tough days, many times skyping and crying to one another how tough it was; but to be able to say that we got through and we are here, together; married, is one hell of an accomplishment. I am so proud of us.

Long distance relationships take you whole heartedly on a journey that you cannot even begin to fathom. It thrusts you onto a rollercoaster ride that will take your breath away. The bumps in the road, although it may seem as though you cannot conquer them, with the right person by your side, holding your hand, anything is possible. To say this has been one of the hardest and most rewarding experiences of my life would be an understatement. The journey is never easy, but I for one am a firm believer that if you want something, you have to work for it. And we want this; so we damn well worked our asses off to get here!

What a week!

Well, we have had lots of exciting news this week! We received our first Notice of Action in the mail on Thursday; exactly one week after we received email and text confirmation. There was one letter for Adam for his petition for me (I-130 – Petition for alien relative) and one for me (I-485 – Adjustment of status). Our first Notice of Action was a receipt for the money we had sent and to confirm that our application had been received and is now officially in processing! In my letter, it stated that I will receive a notice soon with a date and time for my biometrics appointment. Now, this process can take an incredibly long time and people wait weeks, maybe months for letters and appointments. But, fortunately for us, this morning I received my biometrics appointment! Our first Notice of Action was received on Thursday and now two days later we have got my biometrics appointment! I am over the moon that it is moving this quickly. I know this is all just the start and we have one hell of a long road ahead of us but considering this is just the start and I already have my first appointment at a USCIS office in a week and a half, I am thinking we are lucky! At my biometrics appointment they will take my fingerprints and possibly photos if they need them. (I’m hoping they do take a new photo because the passport one I sent in with our application was just AWFUL)

The rest of the process will come a little harder to us as we are not sure whether we will need to send of any extra documents that they may require and in what order things like work authorization and SSN, interviews and finally my green card, will come in. But I am just so excited to be on this journey and to be getting a good head start! After all of our hard work putting our paperwork together and going through the strain of a long distance relationship, it makes me so so incredibly happy to finally be in this process.

It’s funny to look back and think how many times we discussed actually doing this and how it will feel and how long it will all take. It’s just so surreal for me! Like I said, we have a long road ahead of us but it is so encouraging to be at this point already. In a week and a half I will be in Dallas at a USCIS office! How crazy!

Putting it all together

Here I will give in detail a list of everything that Adam and I had to send off for our immigration application. But first, a little background!

We married while I was on a tourist visa so our application is different to that of a K1 visa application. This means that rather than file for a petition for alien fiance (I-129) , we had to file two forms:

• Petition for alien relative (I-130)

and

• Adjustment of status (I-485)

I will wait in the United States while they process our application as opposed to waiting in the UK like with a K1 visa. All forms can be found on the USCIS website and are easy to find. You can either print and fill in by hand or fill in on the computer and print that way.

Now here is what we had to send off for each form. We started with the petition for alien relative (I-130). We followed the instructions for each form on the USCIS website and it is relatively easy to understand what you require for your individual situation. If you are stuck, refer back to their website, it is where all the CORRECT information can be found. You cannot go wrong if you follow the form instructions from their site.

Petition for alien relative (I-130)

This form is filed by your spouse as a petition for you, the alien relative.

• Copy of Adam’s passport photo page
• Copy of Adam’s birth certificate
• Copy of marriage certificate
• Passport style photos of both Adam and I (There are certain specifications that can be found on the USCIS website) *Write in pencil or soft pen your names on the back of the photos*
• Biographic information (G-325A) for both Adam and I
• A copy of our apartment lease
• Two affidavits sworn by a third person having personal knowledge of the bona fides of the relationship. (This can be anyone from a family member or a friend. They just need to state how they heard about the marriage and state the legitimacy of your marriage relationship.)

Adjustment of status (I-485)

This form is filed by you, to apply to adjust your status to permanent resident.

• Copy of your birth certificate
• 2 identical passport style photos (specifications as before apply) *Write in pencil or soft pen your names on the back of the photos*
• Biographic information (G-325A) (I filled mine in on the computer and just printed two copies. One for I-130 and one for I-485)
• Affidavit of support signed by Adam

Affidavit of support (I-134)

This is a form to go alongside the adjustment of status and is filed in by your spouse.

• A statement from your bank showing:
  • Date the account opened
  • Total amount deposited for the past year
  • current balance
•  A statement from your employer on business stationary showing:
  • Date and nature of employment
  • Salary paid
  • Whether position is temporary or permanent

When you have gone through all the stress of filling in all of the correction information; and be sure to check, check and check again that you have filled in every single area, you must ensure you have the cheque or money order with the correct amount for each form. Forms such as the biographic information and the affidavit of support do not cost anything to file, whereas the petition for alien relative and adjustment of status do.

Petition for alien relative – $420

Adjustment of status – $985. With this you must also include $85 for the biometrics fee which will come later in your application process. 

Ensure that you have three different cheques or money orders for each of the three different payments.

And finally, when it comes to filing all of your hard work, Lockbox have a list of filing tips on the USCIS website. They ask that you file your paperwork in the following order:

• Cheque or money order
• Request for E-Notification (G-1145) If you choose to send this form or not. It is free to do so.
• Form being filed
• Supporting documentation

The whole process can seem incredibly daunting and overwhelming but if you take it step by step and follow the instructions of each form, it wont be too intense. We were lucky to have a lot of help with our forms and I hope that by writing this, I can help someone else in their process! Just remember that at the end of it all, you can look back and be so so proud of all that you have achieved! Good luck!

Playing the waiting game!

This week we FINALLY sent off our immigration paperwork! After a long few months of gathering all the right documents and filling in all the correct forms (MANY MANY thanks go out to my Uncle Jay who helped us and answered my every stupid question with patience) it’s finally done! I will dedicate a post later at some point containing what we sent off for those who are in the process themselves and need a little guidance or for those who are just darn nosy. (don’t be shy I know you’re out there.)

It’s kind of scary to think that we have sent off a whole bunch of vital information and a LOT of money off, just so I am able to stay in the country. The whole thing is really overwhelming if I think about it like that. We spent weeks gathering documents and filling in forms all so we could pop it in the mail and wait….and wait…and wait. So many people ask me “How long will it take?” and my answer. “I have no idea.” Each case is different; we may have missed some documents that we needed to send off and they may require more, or they may simply be inundated with applications that they just haven’t reached ours yet. So we play the waiting game. There is no telling when we will be accepted and done with this whole process. Maybe six months, maybe a year, maybe more. Who knows! But I will be so glad when we get that first email to say that our package has been received by USCIS! I may then sleep easy knowing that it has all officially begun!

Adam and I have spent a lot of time talking about how long everything will take and where we will be in our lives when I finally become a permanent resident of the United States. I am so excited for this journey; nervous as hell! But excited. I am thrilled to be on this road with the love of my life, enduring all the ups and downs that life has to throw at us! Immigration being one pretty big thing! It’s going to be a long and exhausting road until we I am finally settled in to living life in the United States but I couldn’t be happier knowing that I have Adam and my loving family by my side to help me through it every step of the way!

Finally…

Well, we did it; at long last, we got married! After what seemed like an incredibly long time coming, Adam and I couldn’t wait any longer! What came as a shock to many, came oh so perfectly to us.

Our day was so fabulously perfect! Both Adam’s parents along with my mum and sister were able to attend; my dad unfortunately was unable to make it, but him along with many other family members and friends were there in our hearts all day. So the six of us headed out to the most beautiful gazebo, where we had our engagement pictures taken last summer. Everything was perfect; the weather, the people there, along with the ceremony, performed last-minute by the sweetest man who Adam has the pleasure of working with. Our day followed with an intimate dinner, still just the six of us, in the most superb restaurant with staff who treated us like the most important people in the whole building. Of course a wedding day wouldn’t be complete without driving of in the most traditional way! As we were ready to leave the restaurant, we saw that Adam’s car had been painted with love hearts and had cans attached to the back of it (of which only one made it home!) and this only added to the love that we felt that day.

We had a day that was exactly how we wanted it and we were so lucky to get to share it with our parents and siblings. The pictures that we have, capture some of the most beautiful moments in our magical now. Now we have one epic journey ahead of us and I am both anxious and excited to embark on it!

Watch this space!