So much to report!

Well we’ve had a busy two or so weeks! On May 27th (My best friends birthday may I add. Happy Birthday James) we headed to my biometrics appointment in Dallas! I was expecting the office to be in the center of the city and it was just on the outskirts; at a place that we’d looked at some apartments previously but didn’t move to because the area was dodgy! It really was in the strangest location.

My biometrics appointment letter contained lots of codes, numbers and letters that meant absolutely nothing to me so in the days running up to it, I researched what it all meant. The majority of it I was unable to find any information on; probably because it is all for USCIS use only which is understandable. One thing I was able to find out was what “code: 3” meant. This meant that I would have all 10 fingerprints taken along with my picture taken and my signature. I also read that for those that hadn’t changed their name yet to bring along your marriage certificate.

On the day of my appointment, we took the quick half hour drive and arrived around 2.35pm; my appointment was at 3pm. I was expecting a very intimidating building but it was far from that! We got in line and I handed over my appointment letter and passport. Because my name on my passport did not match my married name, we had to sit in a separate part of the building to have my details checked. A grey haired man appeared from a room and by not saying a word, took my paperwork, disappeared into a room for about 5 minutes and returned my paperwork to us. After this we went to the desk with my confirmed married name and were handed a clipboard to fill in some information. It was just the basics, my full name, date of birth and alien number. However it did ask for weight, height and eye and hair colour which I thought was strange but I wasn’t going to argue! When I completed the form I headed back to the desk and was given a number on a ticket; 136. There was a board on the far wall so you could see when your time would come. It wasn’t long before my number was called and I moved over to the right side of the room. I was expecting to be taken to a separate room but it is all done in the same room; it just contains partitions to the side so that they can process multiple people at a time.

I was welcomed by a very friendly woman who immediately asked me if I had an accent and got very excited when she heard it! She was also surprised to learn my age; she thought I was 21 (which could totally work in my favor for the future if I want a glass of wine with my dinner!) She took all ten of my fingerprints and then again, rolling each finger from side to side. I then had to sign my name on an electronic signature pad and finally had my photo taken. I was allowed to smile in this one and it looked a lot better than the one I sent off in my application which I was happy about! And that was it!! I filled in a small card to say how my experience was and we were done! Our appointment was at 3pm and we were back in the car by 2.55pm. A super speedy process!

I have read online that it can take the FBI 3-4 weeks to process the fingerprints and get them back to USCIS. However, as it happens, our application has been suspended. But not for any bad reason. We had a letter this week to say that they required further evidence from us; a different affidavit of support. We sent the correct form for the form I-130 (Petition for alien relative) but not for the form I-485 (Adjustment of status) so we need to fill that in and send it off along with Adam’s tax information. Our case status said online that our case had been suspended which initially scared me! But when I read on, it is just until they receive the requested evidence from us. So essentially a “pause” and not a suspension and just another stepping stone in the process. We have 87 days to send off the requested evidence but we will be sending it off as soon as possible to get things back on track! I am still positive for our process!

What a week!

Well, we have had lots of exciting news this week! We received our first Notice of Action in the mail on Thursday; exactly one week after we received email and text confirmation. There was one letter for Adam for his petition for me (I-130 – Petition for alien relative) and one for me (I-485 – Adjustment of status). Our first Notice of Action was a receipt for the money we had sent and to confirm that our application had been received and is now officially in processing! In my letter, it stated that I will receive a notice soon with a date and time for my biometrics appointment. Now, this process can take an incredibly long time and people wait weeks, maybe months for letters and appointments. But, fortunately for us, this morning I received my biometrics appointment! Our first Notice of Action was received on Thursday and now two days later we have got my biometrics appointment! I am over the moon that it is moving this quickly. I know this is all just the start and we have one hell of a long road ahead of us but considering this is just the start and I already have my first appointment at a USCIS office in a week and a half, I am thinking we are lucky! At my biometrics appointment they will take my fingerprints and possibly photos if they need them. (I’m hoping they do take a new photo because the passport one I sent in with our application was just AWFUL)

The rest of the process will come a little harder to us as we are not sure whether we will need to send of any extra documents that they may require and in what order things like work authorization and SSN, interviews and finally my green card, will come in. But I am just so excited to be on this journey and to be getting a good head start! After all of our hard work putting our paperwork together and going through the strain of a long distance relationship, it makes me so so incredibly happy to finally be in this process.

It’s funny to look back and think how many times we discussed actually doing this and how it will feel and how long it will all take. It’s just so surreal for me! Like I said, we have a long road ahead of us but it is so encouraging to be at this point already. In a week and a half I will be in Dallas at a USCIS office! How crazy!

Me vs Texas weather

If you told me at the start of the year that I would one day grow to love thunderstorms, I’d have laughed in your face. They were one of my biggest fears; I hated them. The wind that came along with them, the lightning and worst of all, the thunder. When I experienced my first Texas storm; the dark clouds rolling in and the thunder bellowing above our apartment, it was intense. This was a whole new ball game of storms and I didn’t think I was ready for it. Not only this, I was told “Oh that was just a mild storm!” MILD. To me, the walls of our third story apartment building shaking and car alarms being set off by the rumbling of the thunder did not constitute mild! I wasn’t sure that I would be ready for the intensity that Texas was about to throw at me!

Now? I never thought I’d say it, I love thunderstorms! They are so different from what I have previously experienced in England. If the first Texas storm I experienced was mild then the UK storms were just child’s play. Having downloaded multiple weather apps on my phone and following weather updates on social media, I now get excited at the prospect of a new storm coming our way! The bright, dazzling fork lightning and the deep roar of the thunder that takes a hold of our apartment building and rattles it from top to bottom. It is truly incredible. My favorite part of a storm has to be the thunder; once I see the flash of light, I know what is coming and I anticipate the arrival of the thunder. How strong will it be? Will it shake the apartment this time? (I really secretly enjoy when it does!) One evening while in bed, a storm hit the area so hard. There was no pause between lightning and thunder; no chance for the thunder to pass before the next strike of lightning could hit. When we woke in the morning, our pictures had fallen off the walls in our living room. We can only assume that the power of the thunder had forced them from their holdings. Now that is intense!

Of course thunderstorms can be a truly beautiful sight to see, but they can also bring the threat of serious danger. Tornadoes. Something that truly scares me to my core. This past month, there have been multiple tornadoes not only across Texas but Oklahoma and Illinois to name a few. They bring absolute devastation to cities, homes, families and lives. It is hard to imagine what it must be like to experience such a powerful act of nature and it is so incredibly heartbreaking that some families have to experience such desolation.

While storms can be phenomenal to experience, it is also important to remember that should things take a turn for the worst and severity occur, listen to the warnings. I have educated myself on the difference between a tornado “watch” and a tornado “warning” and this is something that can save lives. I have learnt very quickly not to panic when I receive a tornado watch notification on my phone or see it on the news. It is a scary prospect but is not something to be taken lightly.

I am learning to embrace and love the unpredictable Texas weather! However, like many others, I am ready and waiting for the arrival of the summer heat!

Putting it all together

Here I will give in detail a list of everything that Adam and I had to send off for our immigration application. But first, a little background!

We married while I was on a tourist visa so our application is different to that of a K1 visa application. This means that rather than file for a petition for alien fiance (I-129) , we had to file two forms:

• Petition for alien relative (I-130)

and

• Adjustment of status (I-485)

I will wait in the United States while they process our application as opposed to waiting in the UK like with a K1 visa. All forms can be found on the USCIS website and are easy to find. You can either print and fill in by hand or fill in on the computer and print that way.

Now here is what we had to send off for each form. We started with the petition for alien relative (I-130). We followed the instructions for each form on the USCIS website and it is relatively easy to understand what you require for your individual situation. If you are stuck, refer back to their website, it is where all the CORRECT information can be found. You cannot go wrong if you follow the form instructions from their site.

Petition for alien relative (I-130)

This form is filed by your spouse as a petition for you, the alien relative.

• Copy of Adam’s passport photo page
• Copy of Adam’s birth certificate
• Copy of marriage certificate
• Passport style photos of both Adam and I (There are certain specifications that can be found on the USCIS website) *Write in pencil or soft pen your names on the back of the photos*
• Biographic information (G-325A) for both Adam and I
• A copy of our apartment lease
• Two affidavits sworn by a third person having personal knowledge of the bona fides of the relationship. (This can be anyone from a family member or a friend. They just need to state how they heard about the marriage and state the legitimacy of your marriage relationship.)

Adjustment of status (I-485)

This form is filed by you, to apply to adjust your status to permanent resident.

• Copy of your birth certificate
• 2 identical passport style photos (specifications as before apply) *Write in pencil or soft pen your names on the back of the photos*
• Biographic information (G-325A) (I filled mine in on the computer and just printed two copies. One for I-130 and one for I-485)
• Affidavit of support signed by Adam

Affidavit of support (I-134)

This is a form to go alongside the adjustment of status and is filed in by your spouse.

• A statement from your bank showing:
  • Date the account opened
  • Total amount deposited for the past year
  • current balance
•  A statement from your employer on business stationary showing:
  • Date and nature of employment
  • Salary paid
  • Whether position is temporary or permanent

When you have gone through all the stress of filling in all of the correction information; and be sure to check, check and check again that you have filled in every single area, you must ensure you have the cheque or money order with the correct amount for each form. Forms such as the biographic information and the affidavit of support do not cost anything to file, whereas the petition for alien relative and adjustment of status do.

Petition for alien relative – $420

Adjustment of status – $985. With this you must also include $85 for the biometrics fee which will come later in your application process. 

Ensure that you have three different cheques or money orders for each of the three different payments.

And finally, when it comes to filing all of your hard work, Lockbox have a list of filing tips on the USCIS website. They ask that you file your paperwork in the following order:

• Cheque or money order
• Request for E-Notification (G-1145) If you choose to send this form or not. It is free to do so.
• Form being filed
• Supporting documentation

The whole process can seem incredibly daunting and overwhelming but if you take it step by step and follow the instructions of each form, it wont be too intense. We were lucky to have a lot of help with our forms and I hope that by writing this, I can help someone else in their process! Just remember that at the end of it all, you can look back and be so so proud of all that you have achieved! Good luck!

Playing the waiting game!

This week we FINALLY sent off our immigration paperwork! After a long few months of gathering all the right documents and filling in all the correct forms (MANY MANY thanks go out to my Uncle Jay who helped us and answered my every stupid question with patience) it’s finally done! I will dedicate a post later at some point containing what we sent off for those who are in the process themselves and need a little guidance or for those who are just darn nosy. (don’t be shy I know you’re out there.)

It’s kind of scary to think that we have sent off a whole bunch of vital information and a LOT of money off, just so I am able to stay in the country. The whole thing is really overwhelming if I think about it like that. We spent weeks gathering documents and filling in forms all so we could pop it in the mail and wait….and wait…and wait. So many people ask me “How long will it take?” and my answer. “I have no idea.” Each case is different; we may have missed some documents that we needed to send off and they may require more, or they may simply be inundated with applications that they just haven’t reached ours yet. So we play the waiting game. There is no telling when we will be accepted and done with this whole process. Maybe six months, maybe a year, maybe more. Who knows! But I will be so glad when we get that first email to say that our package has been received by USCIS! I may then sleep easy knowing that it has all officially begun!

Adam and I have spent a lot of time talking about how long everything will take and where we will be in our lives when I finally become a permanent resident of the United States. I am so excited for this journey; nervous as hell! But excited. I am thrilled to be on this road with the love of my life, enduring all the ups and downs that life has to throw at us! Immigration being one pretty big thing! It’s going to be a long and exhausting road until we I am finally settled in to living life in the United States but I couldn’t be happier knowing that I have Adam and my loving family by my side to help me through it every step of the way!

Things change

Parents always tell you that friends come and go; and boy that could not be closer to the truth. Sometimes people come into our lives and we feel like the friendship will last forever and if you’re lucky, it will. But sometimes, much to our disappointment, friends do not stick around. It sucks. There’s no pussy footing around it; because it hurts and it is real. However you can choose to wallow in the pain of parting from a friend that you thought would “always be there for you” or you can choose to stand up, put your big girl pants on and move on. There’s no denying that friends, no matter how close to us make an impact on our lives; good or bad. If that friendship fades it is how you deal with and reflect on it that will sculpt your future companions. I for one, am sad for the loss of friendships, however my life has taken a different turn to those of my friends and I know that it is something they will never understand; and that is okay. I have very few friends now; close friends, that have stood by my side during my journey and that I know will continue to be there. Sometimes you meet people and you know that they match your soul and that they understand you. That is something very rare and is something I will never let go of.

The friends that have passed through my journey taught me lessons that I will carry with me. But I have decided not to dwell in the sadness of our lives parting. I am about to embark on one serious journey in my life and if you are not ready to ride this roller coaster with me, then you best wait around for me to share my story with you once I’m done!

Finally…

Well, we did it; at long last, we got married! After what seemed like an incredibly long time coming, Adam and I couldn’t wait any longer! What came as a shock to many, came oh so perfectly to us.

Our day was so fabulously perfect! Both Adam’s parents along with my mum and sister were able to attend; my dad unfortunately was unable to make it, but him along with many other family members and friends were there in our hearts all day. So the six of us headed out to the most beautiful gazebo, where we had our engagement pictures taken last summer. Everything was perfect; the weather, the people there, along with the ceremony, performed last-minute by the sweetest man who Adam has the pleasure of working with. Our day followed with an intimate dinner, still just the six of us, in the most superb restaurant with staff who treated us like the most important people in the whole building. Of course a wedding day wouldn’t be complete without driving of in the most traditional way! As we were ready to leave the restaurant, we saw that Adam’s car had been painted with love hearts and had cans attached to the back of it (of which only one made it home!) and this only added to the love that we felt that day.

We had a day that was exactly how we wanted it and we were so lucky to get to share it with our parents and siblings. The pictures that we have, capture some of the most beautiful moments in our magical now. Now we have one epic journey ahead of us and I am both anxious and excited to embark on it!

Watch this space!

 

For better, for worse

The first thing people say to me when they find out that I am in a long distance relationship is “wow that must be hard” or “I don’t know how you do it.” I have a very simple response when this is said to me; yes, it is incredibly hard but we do it because we have to. Another thing that I am asked about is how I am able to trust Adam when he is so far away and I don’t know what he’s getting up to. In everyone else’s minds, it is easy to imagine that he is off gallivanting with every Tom, Dick and Harry getting up to God knows what. But the difference here is that they don’t know Adam like I do.

From day one, I have trusted him and this is something that initially scared the living daylights out of me. How could I put so much faith in someone that I had only just met and barely knew? As I grew to know and understand the man that stood before me, I could see how beautiful he was, inside and out. He was a true gentleman, opening and closing the car door for me (which to this day he still does when we get in the car together) and paying for things whenever we went out. It was the small gestures that made me realise the kind soul that he was hiding.

I could never have imagined that in 2013 I would fall so madly in love. This was also something that scared me so intensely; you can even ask Adam. I told him one day that being in love with him scared the life out of me. But I knew that it was a fear that would soon subside; which it absolutely did. As Christmas rolled around, we exchanged “I love you’s” for the first time and it was then that I knew I could trust him completely with my life but more importantly, my heart. The day before Christmas Eve, Adam gave me the gift of a promise ring. This was not only a promise from him to me, but a promise from me to him, to be faithful and to promise to love one another. People seem to think that a promise ring, or an engagement ring is just for show, when in reality it is so much more than that. It is a symbol of a promise to one another.

So when you hear that I am in a long distance relationship, please don’t assume that there are lies and deceit within our relationship. We have made promises to each other that will last a life time. We may be in a long distance relationship at the moment, but the long distance part will not be forever.

See you later alligator

Before I left Texas to come home to England on Tuesday, I was asked if I was excited to come home. My answer of course was yes, I get to see my family that I’ve missed while I’ve been away; but also, my answer was no. As of June, my life with Adam had started and we were living together, building our first home together. Now we must spend the next few weeks apart, having just recently got engaged. Torture.

Saying goodbye is never easy, so Adam and I do not say goodbye; to us, that means forever. We say “see you later”. Much better. This promises a reunion, not an end. However, even “see you later” is incredibly tough; perhaps tougher. This is because we know we will be seeing one another but we still have to wait it out another few weeks, months. You’d think we’d be good at this by now right? Nope! We’ve not even been engaged for two months and now we must wait until December to be reunited again.

When people tell you “it’ll be worth it” and “it gets easier” it’s frustrating because there is no real understanding of our relationship and the struggle that we are facing in being apart. No one will ever understand how hard it is unless you are going through it yourself. Now trust me, Adam and I have said those phrases to try to lift each others spirits many times, but we both know how hard it is. You will never understand how hard it is to walk away from the love of your life. If you tell me “you’ll see each other soon” I may turn around and slap you in the face. Yes, you’re right, we will. But you do not understand how tough and physically exhausting it is being separated from the person that you are completely utterly in love with.

On Monday I go back to work. Initially I wanted to take the next week off to adjust to the time change again and honestly to kind of mope around a little. But that will not help at all. Going back to work earlier means my mind will be occupied with something other than missing Adam; although he will absolutely always be in my thoughts and he knows that. Also, I will be earning money to book my next flight to go home to him!

It certainly feels harder this time around. Maybe because we’re engaged, maybe because we spent a longer amount of time together, who knows. But one thing for sure is that it hurts like hell. Leaving Adam will never get easier and we can only look forward to the time that we will be together forever. I’m so lucky to have a man in my life that supports me and holds me up like he does. There truly are not enough words in the English dictionary to express my love Adam. Now we must look ahead and continue to love one another so intensely like we do.

Until next time babe.

Reflection

Two weeks ago, on a sunny summers day, Adam and I had our engagement pictures taken by the most wonderful photographer. Initially I was a little self conscious about having my picture taken for an hour solid but not only did our photographer make me feel incredibly comfortable, Adam did too.

As we ventured through having our pictures taken, my fabulous fiance continued to make me laugh and smile just with a simple glance. Looking right into his eyes as he held me for the pictures was an incredibly innocent and tender moment that made me remember why I fell in love with him in the beginning. It’s funny how not even saying a single word can make you feel so much. In my head I reminisced about his proposal a month before and all the way back to the time that we first said “I love you”. Later that evening we headed to dinner and Adam proceeded to stare at me from across the table and tell me how beautiful I was, even while I scoffed down a plate of calamari that we were meant to share. It is looking back at a simple moment like this that I realize how much Adam loves me and how much I love him.

Now that we have received our engagement photos, I am able to look back at the moment that truly means so much to me; the moment that I fell in love with him all over again. It really is something that I cannot describe; but one thing I know is that I am astonishingly in love with this man and I don’t think I will ever stop falling in love with him.

Moments like this should be cherished and I feel so incredibly lucky to have such a poignant moment in our lives documented in the most beautiful way.